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I've seen two shows lately that went on and on abou=
t how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week=20=
Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeez=
e! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them wit=
h you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing=20=
your luck) you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our le=
gs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our=20=
newly acquired mustache. In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,=20=
we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless sh=
irts, we are flying squirrels in drag. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and y=
ou realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to=20=
appear topless. Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm=20=
young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, eve=
n the fell and those will too." Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life thro=
ws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all=
, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have=
stretch marks?" In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact=
the only thing we can retain is water. Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now inc=
ludes Legs By Rand McNally --more red and blue lines than an a=
ccurately scaled map of Mid-life means that you become more reflectiv=
e...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life?=20=
Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's=
no longer a healthy choice? But mid-life also brings with it an appreciat=
ion for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hip=
s expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwh=
ile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the=20=
body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hol=
d all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm s=
ticking to it! Send this to four women and you will lose two=
pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew),=
and you will lose 10 pounds. If you delete this message, you will gain 10=20=
pounds immediately. (That's why I had to pass this on - I=20=
didn't want to risk deleting this.) |